i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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