I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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