My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
