i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
