Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
