He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
