Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize