No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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