Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
