i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
