my being single is dangerous.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Why is your signature on my underwear?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Randomize
