I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
