you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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