So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize