you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
