Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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