He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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