My first STD was from a foam party
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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