You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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