i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
