You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
