I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
