I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
