YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
