repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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