Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
