Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
