If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I have post one night stand depression
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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