So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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