If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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