Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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