how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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