and you said cock pushups were impossible
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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