How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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