Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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