TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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