Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
