If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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