Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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