i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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