i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
tequila makes me forget i have legs
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize