I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize