K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
