He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I want a musical about memes.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
