I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I just found puke in my bra..
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
