If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
