I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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