hotel room ftw
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
