Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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