You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
