hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize