I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
