yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
