she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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