is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
