It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize