Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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