U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
