the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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