i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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