Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Don't you send me to vm
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
