sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
vagina is talking i cant
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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